I wanna know who here will be there. I’ll be in the pit!
starting today all blogs without the following gifs will be deleted within 24 hours
These are cute
im very angry at the tumblr staff right now
BULLSHIT - whoever decided to name their blog “staff” is having a laugh.
Okay, so this might not be like a journal/diary, but it might contain vague versions of my feelings. But this is not going to consist of that alone. Just whatever I may be thinking at the moment. Might get weird, might be fun, but I don’t care…I’m far too bored right now to care. And I can not just scroll all damn night…I need to clear my mind and not think about anything.
Right now, I am in the kitchen, on the laptop that this family shares. Keely (my cat) is sitting on the ledge between my kitchen and dining room with her butt facing me. Nothing about that is not a normal thing. My cats love having their butts in my face if and when they get the chance. I’ve had both her and Clyde for about 8 years (almost 9) and they have done it for every one of those years. If they want me to sniff it, they can forget about it. Well Keely just left and now I’m just alone.
I’ve got my headphones in and I am listening to my playlist of favorite female fronted bands. Currently it’s “The Cross” by Within Temptation. A song in which I can relate to.
Oh Keely came back. Now she’s staring at me cause she wants me to pet her. It starts to get really scary sometimes. She often reminds me of a gremlin…cause she sits and looks squished and her ears are lower and her eyes are half closed. And after she eats at midnight, she goes nuts and bounces off the walls. Maybe she is a gremlin.
At this time tomorrow, there will be only one week until I’ll be at MAYHEM!! My sister and her boyfriend decided to bring me this time (they’ve gone a couple times before). They have made it a thing to get up to the bar and we have pit tickets…sooooo…Avenged Sevenfold from right up front. Like…I’ll be only feet away from one of (if not the most) attractive band I know. Of course I love their music, I don’t just love them for how they look…that’s just a really big bonus. I love everything from “Sounding The Seventh Trumpet” to “Hail To The King”. I’ve also gotten really good at keeping up with the vocals in “City Of Evil” - I learned how to sing it without breathing too much.
Tomorrow I will be home alone all damn day cause I’m the only one here willing to take care of this dog anymore. My parents are taking my aunt and my younger cousins to Cape May Zoo and then the OCNJ boardwalk. They don’t get to do anything like that often, so I guess it’s nice for them. Sucks for me, though. I’ll be stuck with a really stupid dog and two cats who throw up more than they eat. Which is bad.
I really wish I wasn’t as fat as I am right now. Not one damn thing I’ve done has helped. Unless someone is willing to buy me magic fat burning pills or buy me the entire “Insanity” workout, I can’t do a damn thing that will help. Damn that went south really fast.
I’m drinking some raspberry lemonade and I’m currently listening to “Devoted” by Lacuna Coil. Karmacode was the first LC album I bought. My favorite song from this album is “In Visible Light” - it’s so pretty.
Clyde just came out of nowhere and scared the living shit out of me. I usually hear him coming cause every time he jumps, he makes this really cute gurgly sound and when he makes it, he meows. Like a “HELLO” and starts purring. He really is the most adorable thing ever. I can’t even. This cat…he just makes me so happy. Clyde is my cat soul mate.
I really need some help if I love my cat more than I love life itself. I mean, I know people love their pets like that all the time…but I really have no one else who actually loves being around me all the time. Anyone I used to be friends with or those who I like a lot do everything in their power to avoid me. They’ll go a longer route home if if means they don’t have to see me taking a walk through my neighborhood. Literally. Everyone I love hates my guts. And I really think it’s because of my weight. Nobody ignored me when I was a fit little thing.
Can I tell you guys the truth? As much as I love tumblr and all my social networking friends, nothing can ever be like having a real friend. Someone who can give you a REAL hug when you need one. Someone who can ACTUALLY speak to you and express REAL feelings. I actually miss human contact. They only people I ever do that with are my family and my only best friend. And I don’t get to see my best friend as much as I’d really like to. And most of the time I’m home by myself talking to animals. Mainly Leo (my stupid and cute dog). As lovely as it is to receive truly caring messages ( at least it seems that way…) from everyone, It just doesn’t fill the void. As terrified as I am of intimacy (being touched in general freaks me out), I could really just use a REAL HUG. I hate e-hugs. Sending “*hugs*” does not fill the lack of a real hug.
I do apologise for ruining your dashboard, I just have a lot of feelings and I am very bored.
I may just go to bed soon…cause I’m still not feeling all too well. My entire body feels super weak and my light-headedness is really getting worse. Sorry if this wasn’t entertaining (if in fact you wasted your energy reading this).
Alright guys, goodnight. Scroll with ya tomorrow.
Feeling a little ill…
Light-headed, headache, and my eyes feel glazed over.
Cuddles would be great, but as usual my night is spent in pain still looking at a DAMN SCREEN. Besides, I’m to fat to cuddle and the only people I like are famous or avoid me as much as possible.
I’m gonna go scroll through tumblr all night and hope I actually get tired of it this time.